The new semester has begun. I am taking just one class - From Jerusalem to Graceland. We are looking at sainthood, beginning with the byzantine saints, pilgrimages, relics, and ending with Elvis Presley and Graceland. It's thought-provoking, interesting,and just a heck of a lot of fun. Our class meets in what was the Walters family home, and is now the administrative offices of the Walters Museum. We meet in the parlor, complete with high ceilings, period furniture (except for our conference table), paintings, etc. It's definitely a treat.
I am already feeling pulled in too many directions, with too many time commitments. It
s not just a new semester for me. Work is heating up as we enter one of our two really busy periods. And our son has the busy schedule of a 10th grader. He can't drive yet, so I spend a lot of time schlepping him back and forth.
I have to admit that I love it though, even when it wears me out.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
the lessons of sept 11
The lessons of Sept 11th are not that we should fear terrorism, or that we should give up freedoms for security. The lessons of Sept 11th are that we should help where we can, never take our loved ones for granted, appreciate our gifts and our freedoms, and live every day as if it were our last.
The people who went to work in the Towers that morning thought they would come home that evening. Many of them probably bolted through their morning routines. They might have remembered to kiss the spouse and kids, but they might not. If they could have chosen where to spend their last breaths, I doubt many would have chosen the office.
The firefighters, the police officers, the everyday folks who pitched in and helped, who ran toward danger rather than away from it, were showing us the way. That we give of ourselves, as much as we can, to help others.
Terrorism can strike anywhere, even the heart of New York City. America is not immune. But you can't protect against a truly determined killer willing to sacrifice himself; all we can do is try to get at the root cause, and not make more terrorists.
The people who went to work in the Towers that morning thought they would come home that evening. Many of them probably bolted through their morning routines. They might have remembered to kiss the spouse and kids, but they might not. If they could have chosen where to spend their last breaths, I doubt many would have chosen the office.
The firefighters, the police officers, the everyday folks who pitched in and helped, who ran toward danger rather than away from it, were showing us the way. That we give of ourselves, as much as we can, to help others.
Terrorism can strike anywhere, even the heart of New York City. America is not immune. But you can't protect against a truly determined killer willing to sacrifice himself; all we can do is try to get at the root cause, and not make more terrorists.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
a national disgrace
OK -- I get it. People are sharply divided on issues these days. But really, people! The last week has been a national disgrace. Our President, our democratically elected leader, wanted to encourage the nation's students. So he planned a speech. And the floodgates opened. Talk radio hosts encouraged people to keep their children home from school, so as not to be "indoctrinated" by the President. Parents protested. Schools decided not to air the speech, because of parental pressure.
The speech was not political. It was in keeping with Obama's role as president -- to lead the nation. He didn't say a single controversial thing -- unless you think encouraging children to study is controversial. His purpose was to encourage children to stay in school, to study, to make something of themselves, to take advantage of the educational opportunities afforded them. What a rebel!
You can disagree with the President. You can dislike the person who was elected. But the OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT deserves respect. You can teach your children an invaluable lesson if you can teach them the distinction between the man and the office. This is a democracy. That almost always means that some people did not get their choice in elected officials. But it only works as a form of government if the roles are respected. I couldn't stand George Bush. I did not respect the man at all. But I respect democracy, and I respect the office. That's what we are supposed to do, and that's what we are supposed to model for our children.
Honestly, we can do better than this!
The speech was not political. It was in keeping with Obama's role as president -- to lead the nation. He didn't say a single controversial thing -- unless you think encouraging children to study is controversial. His purpose was to encourage children to stay in school, to study, to make something of themselves, to take advantage of the educational opportunities afforded them. What a rebel!
You can disagree with the President. You can dislike the person who was elected. But the OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT deserves respect. You can teach your children an invaluable lesson if you can teach them the distinction between the man and the office. This is a democracy. That almost always means that some people did not get their choice in elected officials. But it only works as a form of government if the roles are respected. I couldn't stand George Bush. I did not respect the man at all. But I respect democracy, and I respect the office. That's what we are supposed to do, and that's what we are supposed to model for our children.
Honestly, we can do better than this!
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
small changes
Sometimes, it's the small changes that really amount to something.
This morning, my fifteen year old son brushed his teeth without prompting. Then he packed a salad, A SALAD, for his lunch. I felt like I had won something. I'm not sure what, but I felt VICTORIOUS.
Today at lunch, I walked a quick mile, instead of web surfing. I got outside, felt the sun on my skin, enjoyed the cool spots of shade. Not a huge deal, not a real long walk, but I got moving.
Little things. Nothing earth shaking. But small changes add up. They really do.
This morning, my fifteen year old son brushed his teeth without prompting. Then he packed a salad, A SALAD, for his lunch. I felt like I had won something. I'm not sure what, but I felt VICTORIOUS.
Today at lunch, I walked a quick mile, instead of web surfing. I got outside, felt the sun on my skin, enjoyed the cool spots of shade. Not a huge deal, not a real long walk, but I got moving.
Little things. Nothing earth shaking. But small changes add up. They really do.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
mourning Ted Kennedy
Ted Kennedy passed away today. Often, he is described as JFK's brother, or Bobby Kennedy's brother. He was so much more. It diminishes him, I think, to label him this way, as if his importance is as a small piece of Camelot, rather than a person in his own right. Ted Kennedy was a Senator for 47 years. He was a champion of the poor, the powerless, the voiceless.
He made horrible mistakes in his life. He faced tremendous adversity and personal loss. Yet he persevered, when others would have faltered. He could have lived on his fame and power and money, and never contributed anything to anyone. No one would have blamed him for retiring from public life when Bobby died. But he didn't. He truly believed that "from whom much is given, much is expected".
He was so much more than "the last Kennedy brother". He was the Lion of the Senate, and he will be missed.
He made horrible mistakes in his life. He faced tremendous adversity and personal loss. Yet he persevered, when others would have faltered. He could have lived on his fame and power and money, and never contributed anything to anyone. No one would have blamed him for retiring from public life when Bobby died. But he didn't. He truly believed that "from whom much is given, much is expected".
He was so much more than "the last Kennedy brother". He was the Lion of the Senate, and he will be missed.
Monday, August 24, 2009
I can feel Fall
I can feel Fall. This morning, I woke up and it was cold. We had left the AC unit on all night, and the temps outside had dropped. It was actually pleasant outside, after a couple of sweltering, humid weeks. When I walked from the parking garage to my office, I actually wished for a moment that I had a light jacket.
Fall is coming.
Our son goes back to school on Wednesday. We've bought school supplies, a new lunch bag, school shoes.
Fall is coming.
I bought a new notebook for me for school. Don't need one, just love new notebooks. Work is getting busier. It's getting darker in the morning when I wake up.
Fall is coming.
Fall is coming.
Our son goes back to school on Wednesday. We've bought school supplies, a new lunch bag, school shoes.
Fall is coming.
I bought a new notebook for me for school. Don't need one, just love new notebooks. Work is getting busier. It's getting darker in the morning when I wake up.
Fall is coming.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Happy 27th!
Today is our 27th wedding anniversary. I still think it's one of the smartest things I ever did. And I would do it again, if I had to do it all over again.
My personal wish today is for another 27 wonderful years. My wish for everyone else is that they get to enjoy the same happiness that we do.
My personal wish today is for another 27 wonderful years. My wish for everyone else is that they get to enjoy the same happiness that we do.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
what I learned on my summer vacation
in no particular order, here's what I learned on my summer vacation:
- your kid can surprise you, in a good way
- any day that starts with a cup of tea, sitting on a dock looking over the water will be good
- to be really at peace, I need to be near water
- you can have too much fried food
- mcdonalds is even worse than I remember
- a few hours with a good friend can restore your spirit
- america is a truly beautiful country
- michigan may be one of the prettiest places I've ever been
- traverse city is a nice place to visit, but it is kind of stepford
- fresh raspberry blueberry cobbler is amazingly good
- summer at 73 degrees is very different from summer at 92 degrees
- we are spoiled by how nice people are in Baltimore
- don't underestimate the power of a really good armchair
- naps are essential
- there is a huge difference between hiking 5 miles in the woods, and walking 5 miles on pavement
- there is no sound like the laughter of a two year old
- sandwiches are under-rated
- the cleveland zoo is better than the baltimore zoo
- I want to come back as a sea otter
- I am not addicted to my computer -- no problem giving it up for a few days
- you can go out to eat too much
- it was easier to drive 500 miles when I was 20
- I need to take more vacations
Thursday, July 23, 2009
would you sell your kidney for...
A rabbi was recently arrested as part of the huge NJ corruption case. He is charged with trying to broker the sale of human kidneys. For $160,000. Which got me thinking -- would I sell my kidney to someone who needed it, for $160,000? A woman at Johns Hopkins, Pamela Paulk, recently donated her kidney in a 16 way donor swap. Her kidney went to a complete stranger, so that a friend of hers at Hopkins could get a kidney from someone else who was a better match.
I thought recently about doing the same thing as Pamela. As soon as my son is out of the house, I thought, I would volunteer to donate a kidney. But I soon chickened out, mentally--since I hadn't actually committed to anything, except in my mind. But now, sad to say, I got to thinking again. For $160,000, yeah, I think I would give up a kidney. I mean, I was going to just give one away. Why not help someone and profit at the same time?
Like I said, it's sad to say.
I thought recently about doing the same thing as Pamela. As soon as my son is out of the house, I thought, I would volunteer to donate a kidney. But I soon chickened out, mentally--since I hadn't actually committed to anything, except in my mind. But now, sad to say, I got to thinking again. For $160,000, yeah, I think I would give up a kidney. I mean, I was going to just give one away. Why not help someone and profit at the same time?
Like I said, it's sad to say.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
47!
I am 47 today. I had a great birthday. Lots of sweet birthday wishes. A nice dinner with my husband and son. Got a couple of books as presents that I have been dying to read. Signed up for a half-marathon with a friend. We are going to walk it, not run it, but we have to finish in 5 hours.
My brother arrives tonight, so I will get to see him this weekend.
Life is full, and life is good!
My brother arrives tonight, so I will get to see him this weekend.
Life is full, and life is good!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
15!
Fifteen years ago, I gave birth to a baby boy. 7 pounds 15 ounces, 21 inches long, if you care about such stuff. He had all the requisite fingers and toes, and we thought he was amazing. Fifteen years later, we still think he's amazing.
I am grateful that he's our son, and I am joyful at the prospect of what the next fifteen years might bring.
Happy birthday, baby boy!
I am grateful that he's our son, and I am joyful at the prospect of what the next fifteen years might bring.
Happy birthday, baby boy!
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
ocean city
I used to go to Ocean City for a week every summer when I was a kid. We didn't actually stay IN Ocean City most of the time; we usually stayed in a campground outside of Berlin/Snow Hill. But we would hang out on the beach near 1st Street. We would fish off the getty there. And we would spend one day on the Boardwalk, eating Thrasher's Fries, playing Skeeball, riding the rides, playing the games. Mom would spend the whole day in the Bingo hall (don't know if it's still there).
Ocean City then was crowded. The people were invariably white, and blue collar below 50th Street or so, and white and white collar north of 50th. Traffic was crazy, and it was very difficult to walk around.
I just spent a few days around the 4th of July at the Carousel on 117th Street. Oddly, even with the holiday, Ocean City was less crowded than when I was a kid. They have made improvements in the flow of traffic, and in the local bus system. It was pretty easy to cross Ocean Blvd, even at high noon.
The people were the biggest change. Ocean City has discovered diversity, finally. For the first time, I heard people speaking foreign languages. I saw people of every ethnic background, skins of every hue. It was great. Northern OC is no longer the province of the wealthier summer visitors.
There has been some attempt made to plant some grasses, and to clean the beach. The sand is weird, too soft to be "natural" if that makes any sense. Basically when you walk on the beach, you sink into the sand. I think it's because the sand is carted in, and cleaned by machine daily. It looks great, but isn't the beach sand you find in Ocean City New Jersey, or the Outer Banks.
I enjoyed the visit. I might even go back.
Ocean City then was crowded. The people were invariably white, and blue collar below 50th Street or so, and white and white collar north of 50th. Traffic was crazy, and it was very difficult to walk around.
I just spent a few days around the 4th of July at the Carousel on 117th Street. Oddly, even with the holiday, Ocean City was less crowded than when I was a kid. They have made improvements in the flow of traffic, and in the local bus system. It was pretty easy to cross Ocean Blvd, even at high noon.
The people were the biggest change. Ocean City has discovered diversity, finally. For the first time, I heard people speaking foreign languages. I saw people of every ethnic background, skins of every hue. It was great. Northern OC is no longer the province of the wealthier summer visitors.
There has been some attempt made to plant some grasses, and to clean the beach. The sand is weird, too soft to be "natural" if that makes any sense. Basically when you walk on the beach, you sink into the sand. I think it's because the sand is carted in, and cleaned by machine daily. It looks great, but isn't the beach sand you find in Ocean City New Jersey, or the Outer Banks.
I enjoyed the visit. I might even go back.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
a noticeable absence
For those who have followed my facebook ramblings, our beloved family dog has been in the animal hospital. Initially, the vets thought that the dog had a bowel obstruction, possibly needing surgery. Unfortunately, Largo has a heart condition. Surgery for him is, in itself, life threatening. He has a very small chance of surviving even minor surgery. But, if he had an obstruction, it would kill him if he didn't have surgery. So, huge stress-inducing dilemma.
Because they didn't want to operate, they elected to do a risky test instead. This involved Largo drinking a huge quantity of barium, which they would then trace in x-ray every hour to follow the path of the barium through the digestive tract. The test should take 4 hours to complete. After 11 hours, the barium still wasn't completely through Largo's system.
But he wasn't obstructed and didn't need surgery. He has pancreatitis, and we should be able to manage it with meds and diet, once we are over this episode.
All of this detail is really preamble. What I discovered is how noticeable an absence we have in our home, with Largo at the vet. I derive incredible comfort from the sight of the dog sleeping on the floor next to our bed. I am more secure, and I feel more safe, with the dog in the house. I even miss his rather over-bearing company at dinner. I hate his begging and mugging for food -- but apparently I miss it when it's not there. I can sit all evening, reading undisturbed. And it doesn't feel right. I keep thinking I am forgetting something. I feel this distressing sense of things being out of kilter. I come home at night and there isn't a face pressed against the glass. No wagging tail. No head-butt of adoration as I come in. I cook dinner, and there is no one watching my every move with utter concentration.
There is a hole here that can only be filled by a dog. And not just any dog, OUR DOG.
Because they didn't want to operate, they elected to do a risky test instead. This involved Largo drinking a huge quantity of barium, which they would then trace in x-ray every hour to follow the path of the barium through the digestive tract. The test should take 4 hours to complete. After 11 hours, the barium still wasn't completely through Largo's system.
But he wasn't obstructed and didn't need surgery. He has pancreatitis, and we should be able to manage it with meds and diet, once we are over this episode.
All of this detail is really preamble. What I discovered is how noticeable an absence we have in our home, with Largo at the vet. I derive incredible comfort from the sight of the dog sleeping on the floor next to our bed. I am more secure, and I feel more safe, with the dog in the house. I even miss his rather over-bearing company at dinner. I hate his begging and mugging for food -- but apparently I miss it when it's not there. I can sit all evening, reading undisturbed. And it doesn't feel right. I keep thinking I am forgetting something. I feel this distressing sense of things being out of kilter. I come home at night and there isn't a face pressed against the glass. No wagging tail. No head-butt of adoration as I come in. I cook dinner, and there is no one watching my every move with utter concentration.
There is a hole here that can only be filled by a dog. And not just any dog, OUR DOG.
Monday, June 15, 2009
the company of women
I hate to admit this, but for most of my life, I haven't had much use for other women. For years, my guy friends outnumbered my girl friends. I work in a male-dominated field, where being "one of the guys" is a career advantage. And I've never been much of a girly girl. I think, though that I have short-changed myself.
When I got married, I entered inot the community of wives. I had more in common with the other women in my world. We had a wealth of shared experiences that came out of being married women.
When I had my son, I entered into another community, the community of moms. I suddenly had more in common with the other women in my office, and in the neighborhood. I found connections where I hadn't seen any before.
Now, as I age, and expand my universe of contacts, I am finding joy in the company of women. The commonality of experiences strengthens me, and my relationships. The resilience and kindness and intelligence, the fortitude and strength of the women I have met have added immeasurably to my life. Their humor keeps me sane, and their help keeps me going.
When I got married, I entered inot the community of wives. I had more in common with the other women in my world. We had a wealth of shared experiences that came out of being married women.
When I had my son, I entered into another community, the community of moms. I suddenly had more in common with the other women in my office, and in the neighborhood. I found connections where I hadn't seen any before.
Now, as I age, and expand my universe of contacts, I am finding joy in the company of women. The commonality of experiences strengthens me, and my relationships. The resilience and kindness and intelligence, the fortitude and strength of the women I have met have added immeasurably to my life. Their humor keeps me sane, and their help keeps me going.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
end of school year
We are done another school year. Our son finished up 9th grade today. He did well, although not nearly as well as he could. We won't get the grades for a few weeks, but he will likely get mostly Bs or all Bs. He could easily get As, doesn't even have to do better, just turn in all the homework. But he doesn't see the point, and doesn't get that it might matter at some point in the future. He reminds me so much of me at his age that it's maddening. I once told a teacher that I could do a ton of work and get an A, or not lift a finger and get a B, and that a B was fine with me. Yes, I was a pain in the ass, and a true joy to have as a student. SIGH.
Our son is politer, but really thinks school is a holding tank until you get released and can go on to what counts -- college. The idea that it's not the knowledge but the study skills and habits that he gets from doing the work that will help him get through college has not caught on with him yet.
I am proud of him, though, I really am. He did a ton of volunteer work this year, and took on a leadership role with Habitat for Humanity and with the Ronald McDonald House. He grudgingly participated on the track team, and did not let his lack of success get to him. He is participating in an honors group that discusses topical issues. So far, he is navigating the social waters of high school without too much fuss. He applied for a volunteer job at a day camp for the first part of the summer, and he got it. He went to CPR and first aid training and passed his tests.
Best of all, to me, is that he is becoming more and more of a person. Today he saw Sin City at school (no, not kidding). We talked about it. He said that it was a "great film, albeit dark", and might be one of Frank Miller's best works. OK, he had me at "albeit".
I can actually talk with him. And he can surpise me from time to time. That's the best thing to come out of this year, I think.
Our son is politer, but really thinks school is a holding tank until you get released and can go on to what counts -- college. The idea that it's not the knowledge but the study skills and habits that he gets from doing the work that will help him get through college has not caught on with him yet.
I am proud of him, though, I really am. He did a ton of volunteer work this year, and took on a leadership role with Habitat for Humanity and with the Ronald McDonald House. He grudgingly participated on the track team, and did not let his lack of success get to him. He is participating in an honors group that discusses topical issues. So far, he is navigating the social waters of high school without too much fuss. He applied for a volunteer job at a day camp for the first part of the summer, and he got it. He went to CPR and first aid training and passed his tests.
Best of all, to me, is that he is becoming more and more of a person. Today he saw Sin City at school (no, not kidding). We talked about it. He said that it was a "great film, albeit dark", and might be one of Frank Miller's best works. OK, he had me at "albeit".
I can actually talk with him. And he can surpise me from time to time. That's the best thing to come out of this year, I think.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
where are the parents?
I have ranted on facebook, and now I will rant here. In the news yesterday, there was a piece on gangs of teenagers randomly attacking tourists at the Inner Harbor. There was also a piece about a 16 and 14 year old who were charged with beating another 14 year old to death.
In both pieces, the emphasis was on the police and how they should do more to prevent these kinds of crimes. And of how the schools should be more involved.
Where are the parents? Your children are not the police's problems. Your children are not the school's problem. They are everyone elses' problem because you are not doing your job. If you have children, you have a job until they are grown. Raise your kids! They don't have to be perfect, no one is. They just have to be law-abiding citizens. That's the bare minimum. If you can also provide them with education, life skills, and produce happy, well-adjusted adults, go for it. But honestly, we would all settle for moderately socialized, and law-abiding. We really would.
How did this get so out of hand? When I was a little kid, every adult raised you. Every single damn one. Step out of line in front of an adult, and someone would correct you. No question. And your mom and dad, they would not resent it. They would appreciate the help. Bring a note home from the teacher, and the question wouldn't be, what is that teacher thinking, criticizing my child? It would be, "what did you do?"
Maybe parenting should require a license. You know -- read the manual, pass a written test, maybe have to babysit and get graded on it. Whatever. Something so that every idiot with working reproductive parts can't just have a child. Because giving birth does not make you a parent. Nor is it the sum total of your parental responsibilities.
I don't think I am asking for too much. You have them, you raise them.
In both pieces, the emphasis was on the police and how they should do more to prevent these kinds of crimes. And of how the schools should be more involved.
Where are the parents? Your children are not the police's problems. Your children are not the school's problem. They are everyone elses' problem because you are not doing your job. If you have children, you have a job until they are grown. Raise your kids! They don't have to be perfect, no one is. They just have to be law-abiding citizens. That's the bare minimum. If you can also provide them with education, life skills, and produce happy, well-adjusted adults, go for it. But honestly, we would all settle for moderately socialized, and law-abiding. We really would.
How did this get so out of hand? When I was a little kid, every adult raised you. Every single damn one. Step out of line in front of an adult, and someone would correct you. No question. And your mom and dad, they would not resent it. They would appreciate the help. Bring a note home from the teacher, and the question wouldn't be, what is that teacher thinking, criticizing my child? It would be, "what did you do?"
Maybe parenting should require a license. You know -- read the manual, pass a written test, maybe have to babysit and get graded on it. Whatever. Something so that every idiot with working reproductive parts can't just have a child. Because giving birth does not make you a parent. Nor is it the sum total of your parental responsibilities.
I don't think I am asking for too much. You have them, you raise them.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
thinking of the future
Those who know me know I always have a plan. I may change it every year or so, but I always have one. And lately my thoughts have been turning to the future. What do I want, down the road?
I know I would like to retire from here. That keeps me at Hopkins until I am 57, if I want to retire with everything the University offers to retirees. After that, I am thinking I would like to snag a government job for 10 years, and then retire from there. That would give me whatever the government offers to its retirees.
What I really want is a place at the beach, and a place in the mountains. I'd like to keep our house forever, as it is now firmly fixed in my mind as HOME. But I would like a place of my own at the beach, somewhere I could go to whenever the need hit me for sand and sun and water. And a place in the mountains when I need trees and quiet and nature.
I wonder if it's doable, or if it's more or less a pipe dream. My husband would love the mountain retreat, and grudgingly go along with the beach, I think. I know we both see ourselves in the house in Baltimore forever. Everyone has to have a home, that place that pops in your head when you say the word. The thing that tugs at you when you are away, and gives ease to your bones. So I think that part is a given. But I do know that we both want to travel, to see as much of the world as we can. So somehow that will have to fit into the vision as well.
It's nice to think about. I guess we won't know how much of it we'll do, until we get there.
I know I would like to retire from here. That keeps me at Hopkins until I am 57, if I want to retire with everything the University offers to retirees. After that, I am thinking I would like to snag a government job for 10 years, and then retire from there. That would give me whatever the government offers to its retirees.
What I really want is a place at the beach, and a place in the mountains. I'd like to keep our house forever, as it is now firmly fixed in my mind as HOME. But I would like a place of my own at the beach, somewhere I could go to whenever the need hit me for sand and sun and water. And a place in the mountains when I need trees and quiet and nature.
I wonder if it's doable, or if it's more or less a pipe dream. My husband would love the mountain retreat, and grudgingly go along with the beach, I think. I know we both see ourselves in the house in Baltimore forever. Everyone has to have a home, that place that pops in your head when you say the word. The thing that tugs at you when you are away, and gives ease to your bones. So I think that part is a given. But I do know that we both want to travel, to see as much of the world as we can. So somehow that will have to fit into the vision as well.
It's nice to think about. I guess we won't know how much of it we'll do, until we get there.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
twists of fate
I had an odd and unsettling experience today. I saw a couple of old friends today, while they were visiting the Kimmel Cancer Center. One friend is doing well, better than when we were younger. The other friend is not doing well at all -- he was the patient at the center. He is my age, married, with an 8 year old daughter. He has cancer. He is hoping the clinical trial he is participating in will save his life.
When we were all 17 years old, we were at basically the same point. We were all getting ready to graduate from high school. We liked to joke around, laugh, have a good time. Now it's 30 years later. And we are at really different points. The difference doesn't so much seem to come down to specific choices we made. It seems to be fate.
Why does life single out some people for hardship, and others for success? you fall in love, get married. It works out great for some people, awful for others. The starting point was the same. You have kids at 20, or at 30, or at 45. You lose a job, or luck into a career. You get sick, recover. You get sick, you die.
Random. Fate. Destiny. I don't know what to call it. I think though that sometimes awful things happen to good people. And sometimes great things happen to bad people. And there doesn't have to be something that turns that wheel in one direction or another.
We have to roll with what we have. And love the good stuff, because it's precious, and rare and maybe, just maybe, temporary.
When we were all 17 years old, we were at basically the same point. We were all getting ready to graduate from high school. We liked to joke around, laugh, have a good time. Now it's 30 years later. And we are at really different points. The difference doesn't so much seem to come down to specific choices we made. It seems to be fate.
Why does life single out some people for hardship, and others for success? you fall in love, get married. It works out great for some people, awful for others. The starting point was the same. You have kids at 20, or at 30, or at 45. You lose a job, or luck into a career. You get sick, recover. You get sick, you die.
Random. Fate. Destiny. I don't know what to call it. I think though that sometimes awful things happen to good people. And sometimes great things happen to bad people. And there doesn't have to be something that turns that wheel in one direction or another.
We have to roll with what we have. And love the good stuff, because it's precious, and rare and maybe, just maybe, temporary.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
the itch is back
The itch is back. The almost overwhelming desire to GO SOMEWHERE. I am buying travel books again. Rsearching flight prices. Hotels. I know I can't, just can't, afford to do this. But the impulse, and that's what it is, is really powerful.
I spent a week in the Outer Banks in April. I am going to OC for a few days in July. I am spending a week in Michigan in August. I am not vacation deprived. But it's not the same. This is connected to the concept of NEW. I want something NEW, DIFFERENT, not the same. I don't want to move again -- the other way I scratch this itch. I'm already in school, and that helps some. I need to stay at my current job for at least 7 more years, so that Michael can go to college, and JHU can help me pay for it. So no new job.
Hobbies don't work. A project doesn't do it. I suppose I could get a puppy, or adopt a child -- but those seem to have more downside than I like in a change, and the other folks in my life would NOT be happy with that version of NEW.
That leaves travel. And boy oh boy do I wanna go. Portugal. Laos. Hungary. Peru. Guatemala. Hell, Toronto would work. If only I could deduct travel as a mental health expense. In the meantime, I guess I could renew the passports. And dream.
I spent a week in the Outer Banks in April. I am going to OC for a few days in July. I am spending a week in Michigan in August. I am not vacation deprived. But it's not the same. This is connected to the concept of NEW. I want something NEW, DIFFERENT, not the same. I don't want to move again -- the other way I scratch this itch. I'm already in school, and that helps some. I need to stay at my current job for at least 7 more years, so that Michael can go to college, and JHU can help me pay for it. So no new job.
Hobbies don't work. A project doesn't do it. I suppose I could get a puppy, or adopt a child -- but those seem to have more downside than I like in a change, and the other folks in my life would NOT be happy with that version of NEW.
That leaves travel. And boy oh boy do I wanna go. Portugal. Laos. Hungary. Peru. Guatemala. Hell, Toronto would work. If only I could deduct travel as a mental health expense. In the meantime, I guess I could renew the passports. And dream.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
effective, but it doesn't matter
I just watched a news program where torture was the topic of discussion. The CIA type answering questions said it was effective, and the people being tortured weren't Americans so it didn't matter. WRONG.
The question isn't whether torture is effective. It might be. It might produce the best results in the shortest amount of time. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
The question isn't whether torture is effective; it's whether it's the right thing to do, under any circumstance. And the answer is a resounding NO. It is never the right thing to do. It is a terrible action under all circumstances. You may still choose to do it -- people choose to do bad things all the time. But you also choose to accept the consequences of doing this wrong action.
Torture does not have a place in a civilized nation. Period. No question.
The question isn't whether torture is effective. It might be. It might produce the best results in the shortest amount of time. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
The question isn't whether torture is effective; it's whether it's the right thing to do, under any circumstance. And the answer is a resounding NO. It is never the right thing to do. It is a terrible action under all circumstances. You may still choose to do it -- people choose to do bad things all the time. But you also choose to accept the consequences of doing this wrong action.
Torture does not have a place in a civilized nation. Period. No question.
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