the high cost of insurance

I am amazed at the cost of insurance. Not for us, although that boggles the mind as well, but for pets. We have not had pet insurance in the past, because the dog has pre-existing conditions. Yes, you heard me -- the dog had pre-existing conditions. I finally found a policy today, that will cover the dog and his hip dysplasia and heart defects... for only $588 per year. It has a $20,000 per year cap, and a deductible; in short, it works just like a people plan. For my dog.

Because, with every advance in people medicine, there are corresponding advances in veterinary medicine. Your dog can have chemo, he can get insulin for his diabetes, he can be sent to PT for his hips. He can even get glasses for his eyesight (no, not making that up). I have no idea how they do an eye test on a dog. And you can pay thousands and thousands of dollars for his care.

I got the insurance for two reasons. 1) history tells me that the dog's vet bills are averaging more than $3000 a year and 2) I read a very sad article on the increase in financial euthanasia for pets. What this means is that more and more people are having to choose to put their pets to sleep rather than pay for medical care.

I saw this myself at the vet's the last time I was there. A woman had to put a 4 year old cat to sleep, because she couldn't pay $3000 for the minor surgery it needed. She was heart-broken, but she just didn't have the resources.


So now I have pet insurance for the dog. Next month, I add the older cat to the policy, and then after that, the younger one.

Because it is better to go broke slowly, than all at once.

a terrible decade, NOT

Last night, Katie Couric did a piece on how this decade was one of the worst in modern times. It got me thinking about the last ten years, in my own life.

In the last ten years:

we moved twice, both times improving our life immensely
our son got into the school that's changed his life
I went to work at Johns Hopkins
my husband started telecommuting, which has made him very very happy
I started graduate school, which has made me very very happy
we've watched our son grow from a little five year old boy to an almost sixteen year old man
we've met endless wonderful people who have become friends
we've travelled to Belize, Paris, Nova Scotia, to Michigan, Ohio, Tennessee, New Hampshire, North Carolina
we got a dog who has become family
we've made (and spent) more money than we ever thought we would
we've had marvelous dinners with friends, great parties, seen wonderful art, heard great music, read good books

Sure, there are tons of negatives to the last decade (George Bush, Dick Cheney, 9/11, the sniper, the financial crash, global warming). I am no pollyanna. But all in all, I wouldn't ask for a do-over.

so this is what it feels like

So this is what it feels like to be stupid. Or I think this must be what it's like. I had a very minor car accident last Saturday. I was stopped and someone ran into me. Hard. My head snapped forward and then back. I didn't hit anything like the steering wheel or the windshield or anything. I walked out without a scratch.

But, I had a headache. I am now in day six of the same headache. I went to the dr yesterday. She said the headache was the result of the brain in my head meeting the inside of my skull. I should be fine in a week or two. In the meantime, it is NORMAL that I am thinking very slowly. And I am mixing up words. And I have to type everything over and over to get it right. My balance is a little off. I am, technically, what you would call "punch drunk".

So, I can't spell, can't come up with the right words, can't type, can't concentrate on anything for long.... this must be what it's like to be stupid, and I can't say I am enjoying the experience. But boy does it make me value my normal old self. Can't wait to be back.

another semester is done

I just finished my term-paper, and that completes the semester for me. Last night was our last class. We had a presentation on Ground Zero as a locus sanctus. Then we had wine, chicken nuggets, cookies, more wine. Then an Elvis tribute artist came to class and performed for us. Tommy El was terrific -- a truly talented impersonator. Then, we had some more food and wine. After that, we had presentations on a trio of holy people: Gram Parsons, Che Guevara and Edgar Allan Poe.


Here's the thing, and it's the big "why I love this program" -- it all worked. It really did. Mostly because my classmates are a brilliant, eclectic, fascinating group of people with endless curiosity.

The other part of it is the amazing and talented people who decide to teach our classes. Gary Vikan was our professor this term. He is director of the Walters Museum here in Baltimore. But he's more than a name for the program - he's a gifted teacher. He created an atmosphere where we could explore the topic, be ourselves, and enjoy each other's company.

It was a blast, from start to finish, and I am really lucky to have had the opportunity.

this makes no sense

Two interesting stats the day after Thanksgiving -- 40% of all food purchased in America is thrown away, and 1 in 6 Americans does not get enough to eat. It seems to me we need to find a way to reduce the waste, or channel it to the people who need it. Maybe buy less, or buy the same amount, but put some aside for the food bank. Invite someone struggling to make ends meet to a meal.

I don't know what the answer is, I really don't. I do know it bothers me to think that in a country of such overwhelming abundance and wealth, people are going hungry.

wii not so fit

I've been walking every day in my struggle to be more fit and to lose weight. But I've been fighting against both genetics and time,in the form of family history and age, so it hasn't been working so well.

In response, I decided that I would "rent" our son's WII for a month, and see if I could use it to jumpstart an exercise program, and to see if I would use it enough to merit buying one. I am using Wii FIT and Wii SPORT, to start with.

This is the first time in ages that I have enjoyed exercising. The boxing, bowling and tennis games on Wii SPORT are addictive. I didn't like the golf, found it frustrating because I am so bad at it, but I worked up a sweat and was sore the next day after 15 minutes of tennis and boxing.

Wii FIT is harder for me, because well, I really am not fit. I am doing a few of the yoga poses (badly), some strength training, some aerobic exercise, and some balance games. I hate the strength training, like the yoga poses I can do (very few so far), and am having fun with the aerobic exercises. Jogging in place is just so much more entertaining when you are chasing someone on screen. And the hula hoop game is fun, gets me out of breath, and would make my neighbors fall over laughing if they peeked in my windows while I was doing it.

Is all this fun working? I am back to losing a pound or so a week; I can already see a difference in my leg strenghth and tummy muscle (no one else would notice, but I did). The exercise time passes quickly, and I actually run out of steam before I get bored. My guess is it will only take me so far, but since I have such a huge way to go, that will be a long long time from now.

stress challenge is really a sleep challenge

So, I am participating in this "stress challenge" this month at work. I basically track 4 things each day: nutrition, physical activity, sleep and relaxation. I get 1 point for eating either a target amount for fruit and vegetables, or for eating a whole grain breakfast, then 1 get a point for getting 8 hours sleep, 1 point for taking 10 minutes of relaxation time and 1 point for exercising 20 minutes. I have had only 3 four point days since November 1. Guess why? Nope. Not exercise. It's sleep, and I'm not getting much.

I've been doing a little research. It turns out most women in their mid-40s don't sleep well or enough. Most - not a small percentage, not half, MOST. This is crazy. That's a whole big group of cranky women sleep-walking through life. The reason -- stress, hormones, multi-tasking, basically our entire lives are conspiring to see we don't get a good night's sleep. Maybe it's nature's way of killing us off now that we have served our biological imperative. Maybe it's a joke. I don't know.

My doctor says that hormones are mostly responsible, but hey, this phase only lasts 6-7 YEARS and then I'll be good as new...

simple kindness

It's not hard. Hold the door open for someone carrying a load of stuff. Smile at the people you pass. Say good morning. Say good night. Compliment someone, sincerely. Say please. Say thank you. Send someone a note, or a card. Tell someone you appreciate them.

It doesn't take much. I think we're all just out of practice. I think that every small gesture returns to you ten fold. Maybe you will make someone's day.

things you have to teach your sons

Today's news carried the story of a fifteen year old girl. She was raped by multiple teenagers outside a school dance. Multiple others stood by and did nothing while she was raped.

As the mother of a teen-aged boy, I know I have certain lessons to impart. I have had the "don't smoke" discussion. I have had the "don't drink if your under-aged, don't drink and drive, drinking impairs your judgment" talk. I have even had the "if you are going to have sex, wear a condom" discussion, even though he isn't even dating anyone right now. I'm saving the "don't sleep with someone you don't want to wake up with" for a later discussion. We have discussed the whole breaking the law thing as well -- you can choose to break the law, but if you do, you have also chosen to take the consequences.

Now I have to add a whole new subject for discussion. Don't participate in gang rape, and don't stand by while others do. Really. Get out, call the police. I never thought that would be something I would need to discuss, but I guess I do.

Because I am guessing that there are some surprised parents out in California today, ones who thought their boys would never be involved in something like that, and never thought their child would stand on the sidelines and cheer while others raped a girl outside a school dance.

Pennies on the Dollar

Today was our annual United Way Campaign kickoff breakfast. As always, it had me thinking about people who need help.

Almost all of us would jump at a deal that lets us pay pennies on the dollar to buy something. If it cost a dollar, and I could buy it for a penny, I would. So would you. Now turn it around -- would you give a penny on a dollar? If you had a dollar, and someone really really needed it, would you give them a penny? How about if you had ten dollars, would you help someone out with a buck? I think most people would say "Yes" to that.

So this is my challenge to all of you. 1%. Pennies on a dollar. If everyone would dig deep, and give a whopping 1% of what they earn, we could make a huge collective impact on hunger, on homelessness, on poverty. That's a fabulous return, for pennies on a dollar.

blog action day -- climate change

Today is Blog Action Day, which means a topical post on climate change. Except I really have not that much to say.

Climate change is real. It is not a political invention of the left. It is not caused primarily by cows. It is not a natural phenomenon. It is a problem that man has created, with our great big brains, and our thirst for more of everything, and easier everything. And so we have cars, even for an errand around the block. And we have air conditioning, even when it's 70 degrees. We have microwaves because 10 minutes is too long to wait for food. We have huge houses to accomodate all our stuff. We crave fruit that doesn't grow in this hemisphere, so we ship it halfway around the world. We have short attention spans, so we have TVs, and stereos and computers and ipods and xboxes and a whole host of things to distract us.

If we each made a small change or two, if each and every single person, did one or two small things to reduce what we use, what we buy, how we get to places, we can make a dent in the problem. It's important. And it's urgent. So do something today.

seeing each other as cut-outs

When did we stop seeing other people as "people"? three teens in florida lit another teen on fire, as retaliation for preventing them from stealing a bicycle. repeat, a bicycle. A six year old is about to get sent to reform school, for bringing a camping fork/spoon/knife combination to school to eat his lunch. A six year old! Certain pundits cheered when the city of chicago lost its bid for the Olympics, because Obama lobbied for chicago to win. An American city lost out on an opportunity, and people cheered the loss. WTF???

We apparently see each other as cardboard cut-outs. It's the only explanation that I can see. Maybe there are too many of us. Beyond a certain number in a given space, we just can't see anymore. I don't know.

It scares me. How do we get back to seeing each other, really seeing each other, as people? With hopes, dreams, feelings, real people. It's important.

the new semester

The new semester has begun. I am taking just one class - From Jerusalem to Graceland. We are looking at sainthood, beginning with the byzantine saints, pilgrimages, relics, and ending with Elvis Presley and Graceland. It's thought-provoking, interesting,and just a heck of a lot of fun. Our class meets in what was the Walters family home, and is now the administrative offices of the Walters Museum. We meet in the parlor, complete with high ceilings, period furniture (except for our conference table), paintings, etc. It's definitely a treat.

I am already feeling pulled in too many directions, with too many time commitments. It
s not just a new semester for me. Work is heating up as we enter one of our two really busy periods. And our son has the busy schedule of a 10th grader. He can't drive yet, so I spend a lot of time schlepping him back and forth.

I have to admit that I love it though, even when it wears me out.

the lessons of sept 11

The lessons of Sept 11th are not that we should fear terrorism, or that we should give up freedoms for security. The lessons of Sept 11th are that we should help where we can, never take our loved ones for granted, appreciate our gifts and our freedoms, and live every day as if it were our last.

The people who went to work in the Towers that morning thought they would come home that evening. Many of them probably bolted through their morning routines. They might have remembered to kiss the spouse and kids, but they might not. If they could have chosen where to spend their last breaths, I doubt many would have chosen the office.

The firefighters, the police officers, the everyday folks who pitched in and helped, who ran toward danger rather than away from it, were showing us the way. That we give of ourselves, as much as we can, to help others.

Terrorism can strike anywhere, even the heart of New York City. America is not immune. But you can't protect against a truly determined killer willing to sacrifice himself; all we can do is try to get at the root cause, and not make more terrorists.

a national disgrace

OK -- I get it. People are sharply divided on issues these days. But really, people! The last week has been a national disgrace. Our President, our democratically elected leader, wanted to encourage the nation's students. So he planned a speech. And the floodgates opened. Talk radio hosts encouraged people to keep their children home from school, so as not to be "indoctrinated" by the President. Parents protested. Schools decided not to air the speech, because of parental pressure.

The speech was not political. It was in keeping with Obama's role as president -- to lead the nation. He didn't say a single controversial thing -- unless you think encouraging children to study is controversial. His purpose was to encourage children to stay in school, to study, to make something of themselves, to take advantage of the educational opportunities afforded them. What a rebel!

You can disagree with the President. You can dislike the person who was elected. But the OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT deserves respect. You can teach your children an invaluable lesson if you can teach them the distinction between the man and the office. This is a democracy. That almost always means that some people did not get their choice in elected officials. But it only works as a form of government if the roles are respected. I couldn't stand George Bush. I did not respect the man at all. But I respect democracy, and I respect the office. That's what we are supposed to do, and that's what we are supposed to model for our children.

Honestly, we can do better than this!

small changes

Sometimes, it's the small changes that really amount to something.

This morning, my fifteen year old son brushed his teeth without prompting. Then he packed a salad, A SALAD, for his lunch. I felt like I had won something. I'm not sure what, but I felt VICTORIOUS.

Today at lunch, I walked a quick mile, instead of web surfing. I got outside, felt the sun on my skin, enjoyed the cool spots of shade. Not a huge deal, not a real long walk, but I got moving.

Little things. Nothing earth shaking. But small changes add up. They really do.

mourning Ted Kennedy

Ted Kennedy passed away today. Often, he is described as JFK's brother, or Bobby Kennedy's brother. He was so much more. It diminishes him, I think, to label him this way, as if his importance is as a small piece of Camelot, rather than a person in his own right. Ted Kennedy was a Senator for 47 years. He was a champion of the poor, the powerless, the voiceless.

He made horrible mistakes in his life. He faced tremendous adversity and personal loss. Yet he persevered, when others would have faltered. He could have lived on his fame and power and money, and never contributed anything to anyone. No one would have blamed him for retiring from public life when Bobby died. But he didn't. He truly believed that "from whom much is given, much is expected".

He was so much more than "the last Kennedy brother". He was the Lion of the Senate, and he will be missed.

I can feel Fall

I can feel Fall. This morning, I woke up and it was cold. We had left the AC unit on all night, and the temps outside had dropped. It was actually pleasant outside, after a couple of sweltering, humid weeks. When I walked from the parking garage to my office, I actually wished for a moment that I had a light jacket.

Fall is coming.

Our son goes back to school on Wednesday. We've bought school supplies, a new lunch bag, school shoes.

Fall is coming.

I bought a new notebook for me for school. Don't need one, just love new notebooks. Work is getting busier. It's getting darker in the morning when I wake up.

Fall is coming.

Happy 27th!

Today is our 27th wedding anniversary. I still think it's one of the smartest things I ever did. And I would do it again, if I had to do it all over again.

My personal wish today is for another 27 wonderful years. My wish for everyone else is that they get to enjoy the same happiness that we do.

what I learned on my summer vacation

in no particular order, here's what I learned on my summer vacation:

• your kid can surprise you, in a good way
  
• any day that starts with a cup of tea, sitting on a dock looking over the water will be good
  
• to be really at peace, I need to be near water
  
• you can have too much fried food
  
• mcdonalds is even worse than I remember
  
• a few hours with a good friend can restore your spirit
  
• america is a truly beautiful country
  
• michigan may be one of the prettiest places I've ever been
  
• traverse city is a nice place to visit, but it is kind of stepford
  
• fresh raspberry blueberry cobbler is amazingly good
  
• summer at 73 degrees is very different from summer at 92 degrees
  
• we are spoiled by how nice people are in Baltimore
  
• don't underestimate the power of a really good armchair
  
• naps are essential
  
• there is a huge difference between hiking 5 miles in the woods, and walking 5 miles on pavement
  
• there is no sound like the laughter of a two year old
  
• sandwiches are under-rated
  
• the cleveland zoo is better than the baltimore zoo
  
• I want to come back as a sea otter
  
• I am not addicted to my computer -- no problem giving it up for a few days
  
• you can go out to eat too much
  
• it was easier to drive 500 miles when I was 20
  
• I need to take more vacations