I have been reading today about religion and faith. We have a philosophy professor coming to lecture our class tonight, and he gave us a selection of readings (Clifford, Kierkagaard, James) that argue for or against the logic of religious belief.
This puts me in an odd position. I do not believe, and am not a member of any organized faith. I don't believe in the concept of worshipping a deity. So am I bristling at the arguments propounding faith as a logical choice because I don't have any? or because the argument is unsound?
The truth is that I would LOVE to believe, to have faith. It must be comforting to relax and trust in a higher power. It must be soothing in the dark night of the soul to think there is a guiding hand in all things. I seem constitutionally incapable of religious faith. I have read the Old Testament, the New Testament, most of the Koran, parts of the Book of Mormon, a whole slew of excerpts from most major religions. I have been to Sunday School, gone through Catholic Catechism classes, been baptized, confirmed, gone to confession, meditated, visited mosques and cathedrals and temples. And my unbelief stands, unshakeable.
What is it in other people that I don't have? what makes it so easy for some to connect with religious faith, and so impossible for me?
I do feel a strong spiritual tug, when I am out in the woods, when I walk the beach, when I hear certain music. But this is not the same sort of thing at all; this is more a connection that I feel with other living things, a centering with place and time.
food for thought.