playing professional

I hate when how I feel, or what I think, runs contrary to how I am supposed to behave. This happens a lot at the office. I am a mid-level manager. I report to someone, and have two people who report to me. I attend a lot of meetings, where I have to be tactful, polite, look like I'm paying attention when I am not, I have to look like I respect everyone's opinion, even when I don't. This is part of being a "professional". From time to time, I have to wear clothes that make me uncomfortable. This is part of being a "professional". When something happens at work that I absolutely hate, I have to act like I don't mind, or that inside I am not really really pissed off. This is part of being "professional". I have to get along with everyone, even people I think are missing some brain cells, or who are truly horrible at their jobs. I am required to send polite, carefully worded emails instead of nice flaming balls of rancor. I don't get to say "no" -- I have to say, "I'm sorry, I really wish I could" or "I can't do that, but I can do this instead". Not "forget it", not "no way in hell". Of course I do realize that I could substitute the term "grown-up" for the term "professional".