for Ami

Last night, we chose to end Ami's suffering and ease her passing. We had a tear filled drive to the vet, during which Ami howled. Not because she knew what was coming, or because of her pain, but because she never could stand being in a moving car. Every time I stopped, so did she.

We took her to Falls Road vet. There, they put in a catheter so that the three needles could be administered with sticking her multiple times. They had me sign release forms, pay the bill in advance (so I wouldn't have to deal with it afterwards), and asked if I was sure, and if I wanted to stay for the procedure.

This is a hard thing, to be in the room, holding your pet while it dies. But I feel strongly that a pet should have someone they love with them, and not only strangers, no matter how caring. I told my son that he didn't have to stay, but he said he felt that since she was his cat, it was his responsibility. So he stayed.

They wrapped Ami in a blanket, and gave us a little time to say goodbye in private. We stroked her, talked with her, while I held her in my arms. We both cried, and we both laughed. Yes, laughed. We told each other Ami stories. The time she stole the muffin right out of my mouth, and I chased her around the table. The time our son put Ami in a pillow case, because the "cat's in the bag" and carried her around the house -- he was 4 so he wasn't being cruel, just little.

The vet came in, told us what would happen. And then very quietly and gently, Ami got 3 shots. And she died in our arms, slowly and gently, with lots of love around her.