I try not to waste time or effort in hating anything or anyone. But I feel an uncharacteristic emotion when I watch footage of the Gulf Oil Spill -- hate. Absolute venom for those responsible for what I can only view as a desecration. I don't use the word lightly. I am an unbeliever, an atheist, for lack of a better word. I don't believe in God. I don't believe in worship or prayer. But I do love the earth and all it's myriad living things, in a deeply profoundly spiritual way. The Earth is my religion.
And BP has done an unspeakable thing to my planet. It may be 40 years, 50 years, before the Gulf can recover, if it can recover. Rationally I know this is not just BP's fault. It is the fault of regulators, of employees, of management, of our own insatiable desire for cheap and plentiful gasoline. I know that. Really. But I don't FEEL it.
What I feel is rage. I actually understood the guy who urged everyone to go pee on BP gas stations. I think it's petty, but I understood. I want BP to pay, to suffer, like my beautiful and beloved Gulf is suffering. I want them bankrupt, the CEO fired, criminal charges filed. I really do.
This isn't the kind of person I want to be. And these are not the emotions I want to feel. I just can't seem to summon up kindness, or empathy or understanding right now. Maybe in a few months. But not now.