Wednesday, December 22, 2010

how the buddhist thing is going

So, I've spent the last couple of months trying to live by Buddhist principles. I've had some successes and some failures. I find meditating really really difficult. I enjoy the way I feel afterward, though. And for me the most difficult parts aren't what I thought they would be. I really thought that quieting my racing mind would be the big hurdle, but actually, it's been the pain of sitting. I have trouble with my knees. Lots of trouble. As in pain, in every position but one, which is stretched straight out. So I could meditate laying down, but then I fall asleep. Sitting in a chair has been the best I can manage so far.

I thought I would feel frustrated, irritated, with trying to have empathy for people I dislike, but instead, I found it freeing and enlarging. I don't know how/why that works but it does. I still get pissed. I still flip people off or curse in traffic. But there is a moment, immediately after, where I seek for and find understanding. Go figure. I feel I have made incremental progress, but see myself on a path that will expand my world, and improve my life. That's a good thing.

2 comments:

Kitten Herder said...

Congratulations.

While I don't meditate very often, the meditation retreat I went on 18 months ago has stayed with me. I don't get angry at stupid little things very often any more. And, when I do I come down pretty quickly and usually laugh at myself... out loud.

I am surprised that you have been trying this out. Surprised, but impressed.

changejunkie said...

Well, I am still an atheist. I just needed something outside myself to move forward on my own little spiritual practice, and this seemed to fit me.