Monday, July 22, 2013

birthday musings

Today is my 51st birthday. I am more than middle-aged, but not yet old. In my head, I am young. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and am surprised to not see my 20 year old self. I am more fit than I was 10 years ago, but less fit than I was in my 20s. I feel pretty damn good, these days.

Still, I do see changes. My hair is going white, pretty rapidly. I figure I've got another 5 years or so, before it's all white. I've got arthritis in my knees, my fingers, my toes. I'm 25 pounds heavier than I was at 30.

A lot of the changes are on the inside. I think I've grown a lot in the last 5 years, probably more than I did in the previous 20 years. I am calmer, more patient, less quick to judge. I worry less about what I look like, what people think of me, how things appear. I try harder to do the right thing.

I'm still learning -- I hope I never stop.

I feel touched by grace today. To live, to breath, to enjoy and wonder, to love and be loved -- my heart is full.

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