Old age is scaring me. Not my age, thanks very much, but my parents. This weekend my mom went mall-walking at Arundel Mills. She does this every weekend with my father, because the mall is very well laid out, like a track. They have measured the loop with a pedometer, so they know how many circuits equals a mile. Mom slipped this time, and fell. Her wrist was hurting so she and Dad cut their walk short and went home. The next day, her wrist was worse, so she went to the doctor. She broke it in 4 places and is in a hard cast. Mom is only 74 years old. When I went to visit her yesterday, she looked old, and suddenly frail. I am so not ready for the change in my parents, and even less ready to acknowledge that I am on the same path. I too will be 74, fates willing, and watch my body betray me in hundreds of little ways. Will I look in the mirror and see 74, or will I, through the deceptive power of the mind, see 32? Or 22? Do you notice the lines? do you understand that you are forgetting more than you remember? Do you feel your bones lose their strength?
Everything ends. I can handle that. I am struggling with the thought that everything fades.