Beware -- our national security is once again threatened. In San Francisco, the state of California permitted a lesbian couple to get married, after only 55 years together(!) And in Vermont, people are swimming nekkid. In front of children.
Make no mistake, our values are being threatened, being undermined by the great liberal - press conspiracy. If we don't fight them, what will happen next?
Good lord, people might become tolerant, or even worse, accepting of the rights of others. We might decide marriage is a good thing, even between two queers. And our kids might find out what naked people look like. That'll turn 'em into perverts. And then they might grow up and marry a pig, or a dog, or something.
So be vigilant. Defend our right to be narrow-minded, prudish Americans.